If I knew that my parents would act that way, I would have never regretted telling them that I got into Baruch college. My parents weren’t always accepting and understanding, but they always wanted the best and expected the highest level from me. Growing up as the second oldest child in a family of three, my parents already had a vision planned out for me. They wanted me to follow under my sister’s footsteps because she was always ahead of her class, and always strived to be the “BEST”.  Coming from an immigrant family, education was always the number one priority in my family. My parents always wanted me to go to a school with the best education. It all started in middle school, my parents made me leave my friends in the local middle school and transfer to a gifted and talented middle school. Then came highschool where i had to put my sweat and tears in order to get into a specialized highschool. I didn’t care much about my parents pressuring me to be on top of my education until highschool. When highschool came around I wanted more freedom and less stress on education. I knew the next chapter for me was college, which was the most important to my parents. They always told me how they never cared about what middle school or highschool I went to, but that seemed like a lie. I realized how my parents already had a path set for me without my say, and that triggered me, I hated that. 

If I knew that my parents would act that way, I would have never regretted telling them that I got into Baruch college. My parents weren’t always accepting and understanding, but they always wanted the best and expected the highest level from me. Growing up as the second oldest child in a family of three, my parents already had a vision planned out for me. They wanted me to follow under my sister’s footsteps because she was always ahead of her class, and always strived to be the “BEST”.  Coming from an immigrant family, education was always the number one priority in my family. My parents always wanted me to go to a school with the best education. It all started in middle school, my parents made me leave my friends in the local middle school and transfer to a gifted and talented middle school. Then came highschool where i had to put my sweat and tears in order to get into a specialized highschool. I didn’t care much about my parents pressuring me to be on top of my education until highschool. When highschool came around I wanted more freedom and less stress on education. I knew the next chapter for me was college, which was the most important to my parents. They always told me how they never cared about what middle school or highschool I went to, but that seemed like a lie. I realized how my parents already had a path set for me without my say, and that triggered me, I hated that. 

 My sister was like my mentor growing up. She knew how much I hated to focus on education, and she knows how it feels to be pressured by my parents to put education first. She always said to me “Live life bro, but make sure to balance out your lifestyle and your education”. I always replied “ I know you don’t gotta tell me”. Freshman and sophomore year of highschool was an experience for me. I met a group of southasian brown kids, and we instantly clicked. We all had that same modo,“education comes first”. “I was on top of my school work, I got all my school work done, never missed an assignment, aced all my tests, and never missed a class”. I felt like a nerd but didn’t really care. I always sat in the front of my class, answered questions, and helped others. Some of my peers even came to me when they needed help or wanted me to do their homework. I said to myself one day “am I a nerd?”. There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd but I realized how I was still so education based. My parents asked for my report card every marking period. There was this one time where I had straight A’s but in one of my classes I had a C minus, when my parents saw that they almost lost their minds. My mom sort of had a different viewpoint on education than my dad. She always said “I don’t care if you don’t do exactly what your dad expects, as long as you do well enough”. My mom wanted me to enjoy and have my own lifestyle. But she always told me “have a normal highschool experience, but make sure to be an ideal bengali boy”. Which meant again putting education first. 

My Junior and senior years of highschool was where I started to change the most. This was where I started to experience the best moments of my life. I became friends with almost everyone in the class of 2023. I even became close friends with my teachers, and staff at the school. I started to put less focus and effort on education. I really started to slack off, I was not completing class assignments, missing homework, and even skipping class. There was this one time where my friends and I decided to cut class and have a nice day at central park. My highschool was so easy to skip school, especially because we were so close to the security guards, and we knew the secret exits that didn’t set off the alarms. But that one day we skipped was going to be the last. Me and a group of 7 of my other friends decided to go to central park and skip school. We got there and were just blasting Drake “I need a one dance… gotta see in my hands….”, the next thing we knew “WOOOP WHOOP, WEEEE OOOO”. I look over it’s the NYPD. The officers make their way over, and tell us how they were truancy officers. At that point we knew we were going to get in trouble in school, and they were going to call each one of our parents. I knew I was screwed. We tried lying to the officers by telling them “Oh we’re all freshmens in college”. The officers knew we were lying and made us take out our ID’s. They figured out we were all lying. The officers put us all in that 7 seater police van and escorted us back to school. My principal was the first to greet us, but definitely not the greeting we wanted. He started to call up my parents along with the rest of my friends’ parents. I was praying that my mom picks up, knowing that she would be more understanding about it. Instead my dad picks up “Hello this is principal Berkowitz’s is this Tawsif’s guardian”. I hear my dad respond “Yes, why am I being called?”. My principal explains the whole situation, and my dad instantly flips out. When I went home that day, I was so lucky that my dad had work by the time I came home. But when my mom was home she said “You know I don’t care, but do you know how much your dad cares”. This was the first time I ever got into trouble at school, so my dad took it really seriously. It was a Saturday the day after, which meant I had no school. My dad comes into my room early in the morning, comes into my room, and starts going off. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in?Why are you skipping school?” “You’re about to go to college next year, your attendance will affect your chances of acceptance”. I look at him eye to eye and reply “Dad look I have a total of like 5 absences, and my grades are not bad at all”. My dad then brings up his education system in our home country and how I should be taking advantage. My dad would always bring that up if I was ever against education. That’s when i told him “I’m older now and i need more freedom, and less stress from you about school and education”. I told him how my grades have always been on top since like the fourth grade. That’s when he realized that I am getting older and that I could make decisions on my own. 

After that moment I realized that my parents trust me to make my own decisions, but they still expected me to make ethical decisions. I went through my senior year of highschool also living the best time of my life. I was going to so many parties and events with friends. Staying out late, sleeping over at my friends. My parents became understanding of that, and I made sure to show them that I was still on top of my education. When the college admissions and results came in, I noticed that I got into Baruch college, the college I wanted to get into. Thinking about telling my parents this had me worried. They wanted me to go to NYU stern. When I told them I got into Baruch they were excited and proud. It was not the reaction I was looking for, but then I learned that they didn’t care what college I went to as long as I am focused on my education, and what made me happy. From that moment on I noted to myself maybe I shouldn’t let standards or stereotypes affect me on how I want to do things. That moment was so special to me because that was the moment I realized how important education is to my family and myself. That moment before me telling my parents I got accepted to Baruch was full of anxiety and regret, but just telling them gave me a sense of relief and sheer happiness to my parents.